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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “unmatched in his abilities”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “highly unrealistic”, he explains. You feel invincible and you tell yourself, ‘The world will recognize that I stand above others … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

In his case, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are often followed by a “sudden low”, during which he feels overwhelmed and ashamed about his actions, rendering him particularly vulnerable to negative feedback from others. He began to think he might have this personality condition after investigating his behaviors online – and subsequently evaluated by a clinician. Yet, he questions he would have agreed with the assessment if he hadn’t independently formed that conclusion on his own. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – especially if they feel feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining NPD

Although people have been labelled as narcissists for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what is meant by the diagnosis. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” states a leading researcher, who believes the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he notes many people conceal it, because of significant negative perception associated with the disorder. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to enhance their social status through behaviors including pursuing power,” the expert explains. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in Narcissism

While three-quarters of people identified as having narcissistic personality disorder are men, findings indicates this figure does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that women with NPD is frequently manifests in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who discusses her co-occurring conditions on online channels. It is not uncommon, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

I find it difficult with handling criticism and not being accepted,” she explains, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to a defensive state or I become unresponsive.” Despite having this response – which is sometimes referred to as “narcissistic injury”, she has been attempting to address it and accept input from her support system, as she aims to avoid falling into the negative conduct of her past. My past relationships were toxic to my partners in my youth,” she reveals. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she notes she and her significant other “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if my words are controlling, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have supportive figures in her youth. “I’ve been learning continuously the difference between acceptable versus unacceptable to say in conflicts because it wasn’t modeled for me as a kid,” she says. “Nothing was off-limits when my household were belittling me when I was growing up.”

Origins of The Condition

These mental health issues tend to be linked to childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “connected with that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he continues, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting particular demands. They then “continue to use those same mechanisms as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The 38-year-old says when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve high marks and professional advancement, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “good enough”.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships ever worked out. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he states. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t forming deep connections, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, similar to his experience, struggles with mood stability. She is “really understanding of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he notes – it was in fact, her who originally considered he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Following an appointment to his GP, he was directed to a clinical psychologist for an assessment and was told his diagnosis. He has been recommended for therapeutic sessions through national services (a long period of therapy is the only treatment that has been shown to help NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: The estimate was it is probably going to be early next year.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his mental health status, because “there’s a big stigma that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, personally, he has accepted it. The awareness assists me to gain insight into my behavior, which is beneficial,” he comments. Those interviewed have acknowledged their condition and are looking for support for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the condition. But the existence of online advocates and the development of virtual networks point to {more narcissists|a growing number